Managing the Holidays

The holidays—especially Thanksgiving—can be a uniquely challenging time for individuals struggling with or recovering from disordered eating. These gatherings are often food-centered, emotionally charged, and full of long-standing family patterns, cultural expectations, and memories.

Together, through reflection and shared stories, lets focus on compassion, realistic planning, connection, and creating new traditions that prioritize well-being—not perfection, performance, or food rules.

Awareness and insight can provide you with safety and comfort during this holiday of

gratitude.     You are invited to reflect on what holidays were like before you were indoctrinated into diet culture, what emotions are you feeling, what triggers you can also be helpful to be aware of.   If you don’t know where to start, there are questions below that can help you prepare this holiday season.  

The holidays were never meant to be a test of willpower, a measure of your worth, or a spotlight on your relationship with food. They were meant to be a celebration of connection, gratitude, and belonging — things that have nothing to do with what’s on your plate.

If this season feels hard, that does not mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

And you deserve compassion — especially from yourself.

So as the holidays approach, I invite you to treat yourself with the same care, gentleness, and respect that you so generously offer to others.Nourish your body. Protect your peace. Set boundaries where you need them. Let moments of joy in, even small ones. Give yourself permission to rest, to breathe, to ask for support.

Remember:You are allowed to create a holiday experience that supports your well-being.You are allowed to prioritize yourself.You are allowed to choose connection over perfection.

May this season bring you moments of comfort, meaningful connection, and gratitude for how far you’ve come — and for the courage it takes to keep going.

You deserve a holiday that feels safe, supportive, and truly yours.

You are also invited to be part of our free live discussion on Zoom on 11/22 at 9 AM PST.    Knowing you are not alone is a gift in and of itself.

Reflection on the Past

• What were the holidays like for you before food became a source of stress or worry?

• When you look back, what holiday traditions or moments felt the most free or enjoyable around food?

• How did your relationship with food begin to influence your experience of the holidays? (Examples: feeling anxious around meals, worrying about overeating, restricting beforehand, comparing your plate to others, etc.)

Emotional Impact

• How did these food-related thoughts or pressures affect your ability to enjoy being with family, friends, and traditions?

• What emotions tend to come up for you during holiday gatherings—before, during, or after meals?

• Were there moments during past holidays when you realized something didn’t feel right, or that you wanted a different relationship with food?

Self-Compassion & Perspective

• If you could speak to your younger self during a stressful holiday meal or gathering, what would you tell them?

• What kind of support or comfort do you wish you had during those moments?

 

For those of you in recovery (even if for just one day):

Noticing the Difference

• When you first began healing your relationship with food, what felt different during the holiday season?

• What emotions came up for you during that time—fear, relief, pride, grief, hope?

Growth & Insight

• How did this shift in your relationship with food help you see past holidays in a new light?

• Were there moments where you noticed yourself responding differently than you used to?

Tools & Support

• What helped you get through meals or gatherings that once felt overwhelming?

• Were there people, boundaries, grounding practices, or mindset shifts that made a meaningful difference?

• What strengths did you notice in yourself during that time?

Identifying Triggers

• What aspects of the holiday season tend to feel the most stressful or triggering for you?

• (Examples: diet talk, comments about weight, pressure to eat a certain way, returning to old family dynamics, shame after a meal, etc.)

• How do these situations usually affect your thoughts, emotions, or body?

Comparing Then vs. Now

• Think of one situation that has been difficult for you in the past. How did you respond then?

• How do you respond now—or how would you like to respond—as you move toward a healthier relationship with food?

Tools, Skills, and Boundaries

• What coping skills or supports help you feel more grounded and self-compassionate during holiday gatherings?

• How do you prepare for events that you know might bring up stress or unwanted thoughts?

• Are there boundaries you’ve set (with others or internally) that have helped protect your well-being?

Supporting Others

• Is there anything you do now to create a more supportive or less triggering holiday environment for yourself and others?

• What advice would you offer someone beginning their journey to heal their relationship with food during this season?